Post the Forty-Second - voetstoets

Another long and busy day today, and I'm pretty tired, so not feeling particularly comfortable. Despite this, though, I'm happy - because I seem finally to have arrived at a point where I can acknowledge discomfort without berating myself (and my body) for it.

Hence the title of this post - an Afrikaans expression pronounced sort of like 'foots toots' and translated as 'as it is'. It's used most commonly in relation to buying and selling, where it means that the seller is freed of responsibility for the condition of goods (in fact I think it might now even be an official legal term, spelt slightly differently). It also gets used colloquially, however, and that is the sense in which Mama and I use it and to which I refer to today. The connotation is of taking a little bit of distance to regard something exactly as it presents itself, or perhaps even of throwing one's hands in the air and saying 'Ag, well, there's nothing to be done.' ['Ag' is pronounced 'ach', almost, and carries a similar sentiment to the several variations in dialect we have for 'ack' over here in the UK.]

That said, I don't think the figurative throwing up of the hands equates to (equally figuratively) throwing in the towel, because it's not quite admitting defeat. Rather it's taking the time and space to examine the current situation or condition in a measured and unemotional way, and acknowledging that sometimes it's best just to let things be for a little while. By all means use your strategies to get through and even make it better, but also know that it's okay if things shift momentarily. It's not good or bad - it just is.

This makes it a phrase I find especially helpful, because it allows me a glimpse of objectivity when things are difficult or sore. Also, by distancing myself a tad from the difficult bits, I can in turn distance the difficult bits from the good bits. Because, as I said at the beginning, today has been a good day - and it's precisely because it's been good that I'm feeling slightly worse for wear now. Hydro and things are my version of the gym - I must remember that.

So, a language lesson for you, and a tired ramble through the wilderness of the human mind and emotions. Hopefully you'll find as much solace in the saying as I do.