Post the Fifty-Sixth - on 'Call the Midwife' and contractions

The girls and I have been rewatching series three of Call the Midwife, a BBC drama about community midwifery in the 1950s, and (aside from being reminded how much I love the programme) I have been struck by its relevance to this blog and my journey. The reason may surprise you, although you've probably guessed something from the title.

I've mentioned before how I have had spasms in my groin since roughly 2006 and, although they were at their worst in 2008, they have continued - hence my regular Botox injections. What I've not talked about so much is the way I deal with them...which, due to the area affected, mostly involves breathing like the women in the show are told to do whilst in labour. 

When the spasms are in full force (which is far easier now than it once was, because they only last a few minutes instead of the whole day), my breath gets so out of control that all I can do is gasp. In order to get a handle on it again I have to focus intensely and pant, in the same way as expectant mothers do before they push. Then I am (eventually) able to go back into the diaphragmatic breathing I mentioned yesterday, which gives me the strength to work with my body and push - albeit pushing my own legs down to the floor instead of a baby's.

Over the years, all this practice dealing with contractions and the pain that comes with them has got me thinking that I'd be rather good at giving birth. Not that I have plans to do so any time soon, nor am I romanticising it. It's just that the idea that I might actually be as capable as any other woman makes me happy - because it's not something often talked about in relation to disability. I am therefore thankful to everyone involved in Call the Midwife for giving me a sliver of hope. 

They have done so in many ways, in fact, because one of the most recent episodes even centres on a couple with disabilities. That's a story for another forum, as I haven't enough space or time here to do justice to the brilliance of that particular script and I'd hate to be accused of spoiling, but I wanted to express my own idiosyncratic gratitude to the entire team for dealing with the plot in a nuanced and sensitive manner. After all, such issues are rarely broached in a contemporary setting, never mind against the backdrop of the post-war East End.

So thanks, dear CTM, for offering us actors with disabilities some (all too rare) representation - and for teaching me that, just maybe, my spasms aren't as terrifyingly abnormal as they often seem to be.

It's hugely appreciated. Bring on series four!